Here are questions our parents are asking the church elders tonight in a Q&A session. I'm writing and publishing my answers beforehand so that I can improve the clarity of my thinking and speak more concisely.
Q: How can we use wisdom and protect our children, while allowing them to enjoy the benefits of social media?
What benefits are we talking about? I'd keep children off of social media, other than contacting family through your own accounts and with your direct supervision. There are benefits, but it requires self-control and discernment that only comes with maturity. Delay getting a smartphone for as long as possible and allow them to grow and mature without the pressure of navigating the Internet on their own.
Q: How would you encourage families with young children to prioritize their family while also seeing the importance of sacrificing in order to serve others (within or outside the church)?
We aren't really helping anyone in the church if our own family is in disarray. And spending lots of time together as a family without going to church teaches your children that church isn't an important part of your life. So you want to find ways to bring the two spheres together and not look at them as competing priorities. Drive to church as a family; don't take two or three cars because it's somehow more efficient. Be less eager of attending church events on your own and be more eager to attend church events when you can bring your children. Have dinner together as a family as much as possible, then occasionally invite others from the church to join you.
Q: What are some helpful ways to teach our children the theology of suffering while we live in such an affluent culture?
First, they need to see it in our own lives. We can't impose anything on our children that we are not doing ourselves. And I would focus on the idea of discipline and denial of the flesh, something we can actively pursue, and not suffering, which comes only from the hand of God.
Christians should not consume all the digital entertainment that the world produces. Most of it not only corrupts your soul and mind, but it also sucks up vast amounts of time that can be spent on other things. Saying no to Netflix is a type of suffering in this culture.
Prioritizing church life is a type of denial. You have to give up something in order to attend all public worship services, stay for Sunday school, come back for Lord's Supper Service. You may not be able to join a sports team or watch a game live.
Finally, children should be working hard at school. If your child finds school easy or boring it's in your control to find them something challenging.
Q: Any recommendations on ways to include young children (5 and younger) in serving?
Include your children in as many parts of church life as possible. For the youngest, have them attend the worship service. It's hard work (for them and you) to sit there for an hour. But they are serving the congregation by modeling the importance of worshiping God and sitting under the authority of the Word.
Q: What have been some of your favorite devotionals to do with young children? As a family?
I used a variety of children's Bible, then switched to just reading and paraphrasing the Bible directly. I'd recommend getting there as soon as possible. I would open the Bible, then tell the story in my own words, reading bits and pieces. It requires you to really know your Bible and gives you a chance to do the explaining.
Q: Any tips on preparing our children (and ourselves!) to enter into school where they will be exposed to more worldly opinions/ ways different families handle discipline and parenting?
Like delaying social media, I would delay the time when your child sits under the teaching and instruction of a godless school system and either unbelieving or spiritually-gagged teacher. Try to find a way for your children to be in a Christian school where teachers are able to give honor to God and explain history and literature and science from a Christian perspective.
When the day comes that they take courses from an unbeliever, it should be your goal that you have covered all the ground first. You want to have discussed Darwinian evolution, or arguments for atheism or religious pluralism, or the worldview that sees homosexuality as a lifestyle choice - you want to have those discussions first. They need to be able to interact with the world on all these matters, but instead of being swayed by the appeal of culture, you want them to benefit from the truth of God's Word and the wise consideration of thoughtful Christians like yourself.
Q: In addition to discipline, what ways would you suggest to help children grow in not complaining or talking back?
First and foremost, don't complain yourself or talk back to your spouse or anyone in authority in your life. Whatever you say or do, your children are most likely to do what you do.
When you do complain in front of them, make a point of confessing your sin and asking for forgiveness. You are not modeling perfection. You are modeling faithful living, which always including confession and repentance.
That said, when it's time to correct complaining, do it calmly and clearly. Don't just snap at it and go on. Stop what you're doing and address it directly. Look for natural consequences as much as possible. For instance, if they complain about dinner, they don't get dessert.
After that, don't dwell on it or bring it up again, which would build resentment (and is a form of complaining yourself).
Q: Children can often respond more quickly to dad’s authority than to moms. How can parents (particularly dads) help uphold/encourage mom's authority?
Dad needs to back up mom as she manages the household on his behalf, and mom needs to show that she submits and needs dad's authority for the moral direction of the house. If there's tension between mom and dad on this structure, the kids will intuitively sense it and exploit it. If the child obeys dad but doesn't obey mom, then he or she isn't really obeying dad. They are just manipulating the situation to get what they want. Read 1 Corinthians 11:3. So I would focus on your relationship as husband and wife and let that authority naturally spill over into your children's lives.
