Why I Celebrate Halloween

October 31st is right around the corner, and this is my first Halloween with an empty nest. But I'm still planning to carve a pumpkin and be ready for trick-or-treaters to come knocking. 

I realize many other Christians with whom I share much in common feel compelled to not celebrate for a variety of reasons, so I thought I'd offer a few reasons why the party will still be happening at our place.

First, for over twenty years Halloween was a fun event to celebrate with our kids: the costumes, the candy, the pumpkin carving, sometimes just as a family and sometimes with friends. Second only to opening presents on Christmas morning, this is a kids-centric event. Go have fun!

Second, Halloween is one of the only events that brings out the neighborhood. I don't want to miss the little ones coming to my door, saying hello to the young parents and cheering them on. We want to be the generous neighbors, not the dark-door neighbors, so we give out the big candy bars.

But what about all the witches and ghouls and Freddy Kruegers and all the over the top stuff? Well, you don't have to dress or decorate that way yourself. This is a 1 Corinthians 5:9-10 moment. It's a ready opportunity to show kindness to your neighbor, thinking more of him than of yourself.

Finally, however grisly and gruesome the world tries to make Halloween, it turns out that God has the last laugh, as he always does (Psalm 2:4). The origin of Halloween is thoroughly Christian which is captured in the original name All Hallows Eve, or the Eve of All Saints Day. The European tradition of dressing up as ridiculous devils on that day was to taunt and tease the Accuser of the Brethren on the day before celebrating the life and witness of those Brethren. In Christ the devil has no power over us, and in God's plan his doom is sure.

Martin Luther, who nailed his 95 Theses to the church door at Wittenburg on Halloween in 1517, thought that we should ridicule the devil, even breaking wind to send him running. I think I'll send him running with a jumbo Snickers given in the name of Christ.

Finally, for any parent out there who abstains from Halloween because the candy is not healthy, I think two and a half years of Covid should give us pause on how well our modern scientific culture actually understands health. I'm all for more vegetables and less sweets, but that Snickers bar, with all its fat and sugar, still fits squarely into the author's intended meaning in 1 Timothy 4:4, created by God, good, and to be received with thanksgiving. Especially on Halloween.

Questions on marriage, dating and relationships

It's Q&A with the high school youth group tonight! We got a few anonymous questions ahead of time, so I've tried to prepare some good answers. It's quite the privilege to be asked. I'm answering these from a guy's perspective, but the answers are general.

What do you enjoy about marriage most?

Most: A companion to talk with. Genesis 2:18.

Runners up: having children, dancing, sex, cooking and cleaning for me, teaching me to love classical music and Jane Austen, singing hymns together, watching sunsets, watching TV, the list goes on.

What was the biggest struggle in marriage you have had to overcome? And how did you?

Conflict avoidance and lack of empathy - personality traits imprinted from my youth, and empowered by selfishness. Very hard to overcome. I have never loved anyone as much as my wife, and I've never treated anyone as awfully as my wife. That's a hard reckoning. 1 Timothy 1:15.

What is the biggest threat to a healthy relationship and marriage?

The big answer is sin, which means as you learn to follow the Lord more in repentance and faith, your relationships benefit. The more specific answer is selfishness. Learn to care about others more than yourself: you will not find joy by seeking your own pleasure. Philippians 2:4.

What is an important skill to have in marriage?

Listen and understand. 1 Peter 3:7.

What are some key red flags in a dating relationship?

Are you hurrying up the physical intimacy? It's an easy substitute for real relational maturity, and it will blow up in your face. Proverbs 5 and 7.

Do you lack friendships with guys? Having a set of guy friends is important for your own growth. Think about what happens after marriage - the number friends of the opposite sex drops to exactly one, and the rest is guys.

Are you doing better in school, more engaged at church, reading more, learning more, etc.? Or is your dating relationship all-consuming?

What role do parents play in a dating relationship?

They are a source of wisdom and perspective that comes from their experience and maturity. Go ask them questions about their own experience. Get them talking, then listen carefully. Also, consider that your wife will likely treat you the way she acts towards her dad today.

Is it still premarital sex if it's not sexual intercourse?

Well, what is it then? As President Bill Clinton said, "It depends on what the definition of what is is." Here's a simple rule of thumb for a high school student: Would you do it if your mom was in the room? 1 Timothy 5:2.

How should I deal with conflicts with other friends as a result of a relationship?

It could be that your friends are trying to point something out. Go talk with them and listen seriously. If you have to choose between a girlfriend and a set of guy friends, go with the guys. You still have a lot of learn and they will be of more help to you at this point.

What is your opinion of high school dating?

Go on group dates with friends in the youth group, but avoid pairing up or trying "get a girlfriend." Instead, make it your goal to get to know lots of people and build quality friendships. Imagine the girlfriend you want to have: what kind of guy would she be interested in? Work on becoming that kind of guy.

If you are aching for a girlfriend, it's usually a sign of insecurity and immaturity. Instead, grow in Christ and learn how to relate to lots of people.

What should I do in a relationship that has gone too far sexually?

You need to break it off, and do it right away. Also, you likely won't be able to, so go ask for some help.

If you were older and ready to be married, then there are other options like pick a wedding date in the near future and remaining abstinent until then, but that's not an option for you. Remember - if you can't be faithful now, why do you think you can be faithful later? Ditto for your girlfriend.

What if I want to be married but don't want children?

That's a normal thought when you're in high school. God created men and women to be attracted to each other and the natural result of that is children. You didn't plan it and you don't need to plan around it. Just relax.

The Genesis 1 creation mandate "be fruitful and multiply" still applies today. It's how God created the world. The Sexual Revolution is trying to re-make it, but it's doomed to fail. The trend towards delaying kids and having fewer kids is going to have devastating results in the modern world. Do you want anyone around who cares about you when you're 80?