Marriage in the balance

This week our Supreme Court considers the constitutionality of gay marriage. I predict they will not repeat the mistake of Roe v. Wade and remove the issue from public debate prematurely. But it will fall short of a win for traditional marriage. Maybe I'm too much of a pessimist, but it seems the cultural shift in favor of normalizing homosexuality is unstoppable. The youth have decided, and they are growing up fast.

As a conservative Christian, there are many ways to see this:

First, traditional Christianity will be seen as bigotry. But this creates an opportunity to show love. If everyone has me pegged for an intolerant, hate-filled dinosaur, it creates a space to show what tolerance and love is. Jesus ate with prostitutes and sinners, but without condoning prostitution or sin. Maybe God is going to humble the church to the point where we can serve as Christ did.

The debate about the definition of marriage hides the underlying issue: is marriage definable? As a Christian, the answer is no. I received the institution of marriage. I received it from God, from tradition, from natural law, from my Mom and Dad. The Western world is blazing new ground by defining marriage. Greek and Roman men played with homosexuality, but they returned home to wives, kids, tradition and honor. They knew that another generation had to be born and raised if society would go on. It seems our modern affluence and independence has freed us from these concerns.

Or has it? Our modern welfare state, Medicare and Social Security, depends on the next generation paying for the care of the previous. And, given that everyone to date has taken out more from these programs than they have put in, it depends on the growth of that next generation. What happens when the drive for family and children is diminished? It doesn't have to be erased: what if these trends simply lower birth rates? The system collapses in on itself.

But we don't have the ability to discuss societal effects. The issue swirls around individual rights. "Don't I have the right to define marriage as I want?" But there is no absolute "I". There is both an "I" and a "we". One person's right to define marriage as he or she wills implies the duty for another to recognize that definition. Without that recognition, the definition means nothing.

Finally, this will put incredible pressure on other areas of our society. How well can Christians participate in public schooling and free markets and free speech in the context of state-sanctioned, state-promoted homosexual marriage? We've been numbed by decades of extra-marital sex in TV and movies. We know the stats about divorce rates and pornography and drug use. But redefining marriage is different. It creates a public standard of approval or disapproval by which someone can be measured, like bowing down to the statue of Darius or offering a pinch of incense to Caesar. Do you acknowledge the norms of our society, or are you on the suspicious outside?

So we will all discover what the effects of this will be. As a Christian, I need to trust in God, love my neighbor, and wait for God to make all things right. We need to show respect to all people, made in the image of God and loved by God. And, maybe most of all, I need to love my wife and, to the best of my ability, show my children what God created marriage to be.