Training Up Children in the Lord

How should a father train up his children in the Lord? I’m only six years into parenting my four children and I see how different each child and each family is. There’s no guaranteed method or magic formula. As Christians, we know that God’s revealed will is found in the Bible alone, so regardless of the practical advice we find most agreeable, we should always end up opening the Word. Here are a few verses that have taught me how to train up my children in the Lord.

“You shall teach [the words of the Law] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” (Deut 6:7)

Family life should be filled with God’s Word, and it is the responsibility of parents to make the household a place where Christ is honored. Faith in God and His Word is always alive and active, finding relevance in every area of life. Faith can be seen in our conversation at the dinner table, during family story time, doing chores around the house or helping neighbors in need. Our children quickly learn what we find to be most important in life and are likely to value the same. This gives us an incredible opportunity to treasure Christ above all things and teach them to love Him as well.

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph 6:4)

Fathers are responsible before God for training up their children and can have a great impact for good or ill. When we check our children into Sunday school, send them to day school, or ask our wives to homeschoool, we are delegating a portion of this task to others whom we believe to be qualified. However, fathers still bear the ultimate responsibility to teach and train their children.

In order to do this, we fathers must be students of the Word and growing in the Lord. A father is the family’s resident pastor and theologian and so we should do everything within our God-given abilities to teach our children God’s truth.

It’s commonly thought that a theologian is an expert on complicated and trivial doctrines, which implies that the fundamentals are simple and obvious. It’s quite the opposite. The main job of a theologian is to make sure that the most fundamental points of the faith are clear, and not obscured by error and unbelief. Children must be taught the Law of God, the imminent reality of judgment, the love and grace of God found in the cross, the necessity of faith in Christ alone, and the distinction between living in the Spirit and living in the flesh. Every father needs to work diligently to make sure basic truths like these are clearly understood in his household.

“So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify [his children], and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, ‘It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.’ Thus Job did regularly.”

Job was as a priest for his family because he interceded on behalf of his children to the Lord. We see the same example with David praying for his children. We too should pray earnestly that God would be gracious to our children and that they would grow up to be pleasing to the Lord.

I’ve approached this as a father writing to fathers. But mothers or grandparents may find themselves alone in the task of teaching their children about Christ. God Himself has promised to be a Father to the fatherless (Ps 68:5). I believe this means that your children will have special grace as you train them in the Lord.

How is a father supposed to do all this? There’s no sure-fire method to follow, but it’s clear that we need to cry out to the Lord for help, read His Word, ask Him to teach us, and find good models we can learn from. Most importantly, our children need to see our own faith in Christ and be encouraged to believe as well.

Written 2004, Christ Community Church's Pursuit Magazine