My Son,
Dating
Dating can be a scary
thing, but it can be a great thing. The ultimate purpose of dating is to find a
spouse. As a Christian man, you should desire to marry a woman who also loves
the Lord and one who is a good companion in life. A good marriage is a great
blessing from God.
But you can’t just jump
into marriage. You need to take some steps. Dating is one of those steps. In
fact, there are steps you can take before you even ask your first girl out on a
date. Each one of these steps can be practiced right now.
Be a gentleman
A gentleman is a man with
good character, both in private and in public. He knows how to act and speak
around other people. He is a person of strong conviction and ability. He uses
his strength to serve those around him.
He takes special care to
show proper respect to ladies. He realizes that a friendship with a girl is
different from a friendship with a guy. A gentleman doesn’t pal around with
girls like he does with a guy. Would your father hang out with another woman
who isn’t his wife? God didn’t create men and women to interact that way. Treat
all women with respect.
The opposite of a
gentleman is a jerk. A jerk is rude and selfish. He does what he wants without
regard for anyone else. Secretly, he wants people to think he’s cool, but it
backfires. Everyone knows he’s just a jerk.
Learn to talk with ladies
You need to learn how to
talk with ladies by practicing. Learn how to introduce yourself, ask a girl
about what she likes to do, find something in common and enjoy getting to know
her. You will need to work on both speaking and listening.
Many teenage boys discover
that they like girls, but because they feel embarrassed, they act out by
teasing girls. You don’t need to do that. Grow up! Be a man! Most boys struggle
with this, so if you can do it, you will stand out in the crowd.
Don’t restrict yourself to
only talking with the girls you think are cute. A gentleman is a gentleman to
all ladies. This is called impartiality, and it is what Christ was like. As a
side benefit, if you practice impartiality, you stand a better chance of
impressing the one that catches your fancy.
Sexual temptation
Stay away from sexual
temptation, especially pornography. It is a disease that will eat into your
heart. Every time you play with it, you reduce your chances that you can ever
escape. If you are trapped, seek the help of a friend.
Be aware that not all
women act like ladies. Watch out for teases and flirts. They play with you, but
don’t care about you at all. Some may not realize the power they have over men,
but some do and they work it to their advantage. In any case, your best
protection is to be a leader and not a follower. Be a man! Do what you know is
right. Flee from temptation.
Wait for sex
God created sex to be
enjoyed in marriage. The world wants the pleasures of sex without the
commitment of marriage. Our TV and movies and music are filled with this
worldly lust.
There are two chief
dangers for sex outside of marriage. First, sex outside of marriage is
disobedient to God. There will be a day of judgment for you and me and every
evil deed and thought will be exposed. Don’t fool yourself that you will
escape.
Second, sex outside of
marriage leads to death. If you have sex with a woman, she will get pregnant.
There is no 100% effective birth control. When she becomes pregnant, you have
now created life and you are responsible. The only way the world can keep
having its sex outside of marriage is to have abortion – killing unwanted
babies. This has always been true in all cultures. So, sex outside of marriage
leads to murder. If your girlfriend becomes pregnant, she has sole legal right
to abort that baby. You have no say. Yet you are still the father and the blood
of your child will be on your hands.
I’ve intentionally made
this section scary, because it should be. You will need to answer to God
someday on your own, but I want to guide you while you are in my house.
Remember that God created sex and it is good – but you need to wait for marriage.
You will be much happier if you do.
When to date
There is no rush to start
asking girls out on dates. You need a car and some money anyways. If you don’t
have either, you won’t be very impressive. For now, you can practice being a
gentleman by treating girls with respect.
Enjoy Marriage
You should desire to get
married. Don’t put it off until you have the perfect job or a lot of money.
After you become an adult, find a good Christian woman and marry her. Enjoy
her. She will make you immensely happy. Until that day, be a gentleman, learn
to talk with ladies and avoid sexual immorality.
With love,
Your Dad
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