Behold Your Mother

The Third Word

John 19:25-27 - “But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.”

Right before Jesus dies, he looks down and sees his mother. He also sees John, his disciple and friend. His heart goes out to them. They are about to be left alone, so he entrusts them to each other. Mother, here is a son for you. John, please take care of my mother.

In these words we see Jesus’ humanity. He was fully God, able to save, but he was also fully human, just like us.

I spent a little time learning some Mandarin Chinese. It is a wonderful language and is quite different from learning any Western or Indo-European language. The vocabulary and tones and characters are unlike anything in English. But what is the Chinese word for Mother? It’s Ma ma. Ma ma. Of course this is no coincidence. When a baby first gains the ability to make a sound with its newly formed mouth, what else could the meaning of those first syllables be? It is mother who is there caring for her baby, in the middle of the night, all through the day, every day. When each of us is born, imagine how the strange and terrifying outside world starts to press itself in on us, but there is one person who is familiar, one person who is safe, who is known. It is ma ma. Every mother is hard-wired by God’s design with a love for her children, and we are all hard-wired to love our mothers.

And Jesus loved his mother. He is just like us.

I have a vivid memory of my mother when I went off to college. I was born and raised in Minneapolis, MN, but at 18 I went off to school in Chicago. I felt like I was finally moving out, ready to prove myself and conquer the world. My parents drove the 8 hours for me to get there. My dad helped me carpet my dorm room and move a few boxes of stuff in. We walked around campus a little bit and saw a few things together. Late in the afternoon I was going to visit a Christian student group on campus and it was time for my parents to drive back home. We said our goodbyes and walked out separate ways. But then I looked back and saw my mother in tears.

And then it hit me all of a sudden. I was leaving home and I wasn’t coming back. And my mother knew it. I barely realized it, but my mother had been preparing for this for years.

What was Mary thinking at the foot of the cross? Here is her baby, Jesus. She had cared for him from infancy. She knew who he was and what he would do before anyone else did. Do you remember the words that Simeon spoke to Mary after he saw the baby Jesus? “Behold, this child is appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is opposed…and a sword will pierce through your own soul also” (Luke 2:34-35). The sword was piercing Mary’s soul right there at the foot of the cross. Her child was dying.

Jesus saw his mother Mary standing there. He saw what she was going through and his heart went out to her. Even in the middle of doing the greatest work ever done, to be suffering the greatest pain ever suffered, to be reconciling God and man for all eternity, yet in the middle of all that, he thought of his mother.

Who is this God? And how can it be? How could God the Son have come down and become a man so much like me that his heart is so simply and so obviously bound to his mother?

Here we see the dignity of man, created in God’s image. One of the most basic elements of our existence, my own love for my mother, is a reflection of the very character of Almighty God.

We also see the love of God. Jesus taught us that when we see him, we see the Father. If Jesus loved his mother in this way, what does this tell us about who God is? It tells us that God is love. God is not an all-powerful but impersonal judge from whom we grovel for mercy. We see that God has come down to us with a heart overflowing in love for sinners.

Does this word about God’s love stir anything in your heart? We are all made for it and are in desperate need of it. Without this love from God, we really are lost and alone in a strange and terrifying world. But here at the cross, we see it. It’s almost too good to be true. But here it is, shown to us plainly in Jesus’ love for his mother and offered freely to us. Jesus’ heart goes out to us as well at the cross, to everyone who comes to him as their Lord and God.

Mark 3:31-35 says, “And his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. And a crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you.” And he answered them, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.”

From The Seven Last Words of Christ, Good Friday Service, 2012, Christ Community Church

Why I'm not a young earth creationist

I believe the Bible is God's Word, infallible and authoritative, pointing us to Christ, the Word of God incarnate, our only Lord and Savior. That's all pretty fundamentalist, orthodox, evangelical, and the rest. So why don't I also believe the world was created in six literal days about 6,000 years ago? Isn't that what the Bible says?

I used to believe that. When I was in high school and college I read The Genesis Flood by Henry Morris along with books by Ackerman, Austin, Gish and Ham. The ICR set. I took high school and college science classes and eagerly opposed the interpretation of long ages, uniformitarian geology, light travelling for billions of years, etc. But somewhere along the way I changed my mind. How did that happen?

The first event was reading Starlight and Time by D. Russell Humphreys which argued for an old universe (15 billion years) and a young earth (6,000 years). The trick was that Einstein's General Theory of Relativity could explain time going fast everywhere else but on earth. But this struck me as a "just so" story, the same kind I had been trained to discern in every evolution book or article I had read. I recalled all those articles arguing that the universe wasn't old...I guess that wasn't so clear.

The last event was reading The Creationsts by Ronald L. Numbers. I saw the path from the psuedo-scientist George McCready Price to the university-trained geologist Henry Morris, along with the connection to Seventh Day Adventist literalism. I realized that I needed to re-ask all the questions I had been thinking and avoiding. My doubts had caught up to me and that I didn't believe it anymore.

The following points were and still are decisive for me:

The size of the universe

The most plain understanding of the heavens is that they are very large and therefore very old. If the galaxies are really spinning, if the starlight I see was actually emitted in space and time by those very stars, if the laws of physics here are the same as the laws of physics throughout the universe, then the universe must be very old.

I can come up with explanations that God created the light en route, or that the speed of light was faster in the past, or that General Relativity can do this or do that, but I have no good reason for it. It's just making stuff up to explain away the obvious.

In Psalm 19, the Bible says that the heavens declare the glory of God. Night after night they pour forth speech. Well, can anyone understand it? Does God expect us to look up and figure out what we see? Or is it just an illusion? just an appearance of something?

Genesis 1 is poetic

Open your Bible and read Genesis 1. What are the words like? There is structure, multiple layers of repetition, and building drama. It is poetic. Poetry doesn't mean fiction. It means the writer is crafting his language in a deliberate way to convey his message. Readers of poetry must pay attention to that language, understanding the devices being used, takes clues from context, in order to hear that message. Even if I'm not a Hebrew scholar, I can see that arguments based on word counts of a certain Hebrew words throughout the Old Testament are not on the right track.

Also, once you see the poetry, you can also see the agreement between the progression of the creation story and the progression found in the standard, secular story of the universe. There is an amazing correspondence.

Noah's Flood can't explain worldwide geology

The most important piece to the young earth creationist puzzle is Noah's Flood. Does it really explain all of plate tectonics, the fossil record, the whole geologic column from the bottom up? If yes, everything else, including Humphreys' ingenious cosmology, can be made to fit. If no, then the earth is old.

There are the obvious targets - how can all of the millions of animal species fit on the ark? The answer is that all of the major groups were there, and God somehow provided for rapid "evolution" and distribution of those animals. It's an appeal to miracle with no warrant from the Bible, but it's a simple answer.

But the question that pressed me was - if Noah's Flood laid down all fossil bearing sediments in one massive catastrophic event, how is there a general progression of simpler, smaller invertebrates at the bottom up to larger, more complex mammals at the top? Some young earth books appeal to exceptions to this pattern, but even the appeal to an exception proves that it is rare. The explanation given by Morris is hydrologic sorting, or ecological zonation, or ability to escape.

But this is not the way nature works. Let's say all three of those explanations are true. What should we expect? There would be sorting of many, most, but not all fossils. We would find a percentage in the wrong spot. But even 1% means millions of fossils in the wrong spot. This is not what we see.

We can appeal to miracle again. Forget hydrologic sorting. God just made sure the mammals ended up on the top layers. But why? Nature becomes an illusion, a deceptive illusion.

But even in the young earth position, we see why this can't be...


Miracles are special, not normal

Why do young earth creationists spend so much time talking about catastrophic geology? Why try to explain the layers in the Grand Canyon? Why not just appeal to miracle, the appearance of age, and be done? The reason is that their understanding of who God is says it wouldn't be right. The Bible is full of miracles, but it does not teach us that all of life is one miracle after another. Miracles are the exception. They are the special times when God breaks in to reveal himself. The rest of the time, most of the time, we live in an orderly world created by God to work according to natural law.

This is not a Deistic view of life. We can know and trust that God is present and that he cares for us. But it is also not a superstitious view of life. We don't interpret every event that happens to us, from our car not starting to our coffee boiling over, as the unexplainable intervention of a spiritual realm. So we are to love God with all our hearts, souls and minds. Our minds may be fallen, but they still work.

Creation is a miracle. It is amazing what God has designed and brought into being. I believe our appreciation and wonder of this miracle will be even more profound if we use our minds to the best of our God-given abilities to understand what he has done.

Biking with kids

I have four children, ages 14, 11, 10 and 7. We love to go biking together. Today we took an 11.5 mile trip from our home in San Clemente, along the coast of the Pacific Ocean, up to San Juan Capistrano, at the confluence of the San Juan and Trabuco Creeks. We ate at Ruby's in their roof-top dining area, then made our way home, with a brief stop at Creekside Park for some rock wall climbing and lying in the sun. Four splendid hours together.

Here are a few thoughts at the close of the day:

Buy the bikes

You have to spend the money to have a garage full of bikes. We've had bikes stolen - buy a new one. We've had wheels bent - get it fixed. We've had hand brakes that little hands couldn't quite squeeze - get a bike with coaster brakes that can be used. I've not spent a fortune, but I've kept the fleet on wheels.

It's easy to spend a ton of money on the things of life, things that you want, or wanted, but which don't mean so much in a short time. But what are those things that really give you a little slice of lasting satisfaction? Don't miss them.

Explore a little further

Each time we go, it's a small-scale adventure. We don't load up bike racks and drive to ideal bike routes . We just begin each trip in our driveway. Yet from that humble starting point, the world opens up.

From my perspective, I see new views of our community because I'm taking new routes. I'm going slow enough to see and think. From my kids' perspective, it must be that and more. When someone drives you to a destination, it's possible to go there 100 times but not know how to get there yourself. It's only when you are at the wheel, making the decisions at each turn in the road, that you gain the knowledge for yourself. Only then are you paying attention.

On each trip my kids gain confidence as they learn to move along in the world. They come back brimming with ideas about all the places we can go next. The day is coming when they will be grown and leave my house, but it will be something not unlike "just the next bike trip."

Soak in the sunshine

We live in a beautiful world, but it's so easy to miss it. The sky was a brilliant blue today and we saw it. The ocean breeze was cool and steady and we felt it. The sun was hot, especially when the breeze let up, and we soaked it in. San Juan was bustling with people and we were part of them.

But isn't the bit of sunshine that can be most easily missed my children themselves? Each one is a ray of light, direct from God, sent to me without my deserving. And on top of that, he's also given me the grace to realize this and be thankful.

The Sun Also Rises, Hemingway

In The Sun Also Rises Hemingway shows us the beauty of trout streams in the mountains of Spain, the pleasure of wine at a cafe in the afternoon, the intensity of the running of the bulls, the craft and pride of the bullfighter. It's a retelling of his own exotic life experiences and passions.

But strung through this setting are the tangled relationships of Jake Barnes, Robert Cohn, Lady Brett and Mike. Living off money wired from America, no commitments, just trying to live life to the max. Someone loves a woman, but so does someone else, but she loves another, at least for now, until she finds someone more exciting.

What a mess. What a heap of discontented, envying, backstabbing, drunken, brawling wretchedness. Is this the best we can do? If all we have is life under the sun, maybe so.

It certainly rings true. We are all trying to find happiness in life. Most of the time we can see but can't enjoy the happiness that's right in front of us. We claw after what's nearby but can never be ours. We don't have the ability to stop and be content.

We find the flaw in others. That jerk that doesn't keep to himself. The late train that messes up our schedule. The money that wasn't sent fast enough.

Or we find the flaw in the nature of the universe. Life is cruel and purposeless. Sickness and injury strike us down in the prime of life. Religious impulses earn our respect, but we can't personally get into them. We are somehow above it all, critiquing everyone and everything.

What if this is meant to tell us something? The beauty that we can't enjoy. The relationship we crave but always ends up hurting us. The purpose we long for but can't be convinced of.

Either it's all vanity or we have fallen from some higher place. And isn't the reasoned conclusion that it's vanity self-refuting? There is a grace in Hemingway's writing, a man who ended his life in suicide, which is an evidence that there must be a reason for it all.

How to write a paper

Here's a little advice for my kids on how to write a school paper:

1. Know your content

Read your book. Twice if needed. Take notes along the way. What are your thoughts? Write them down or they will be lost. If you learn to love a book, you will be motivated to write about what you love.

2. Pick a thesis

What is this paper going to be about? Say it concisely. If you have a choice, pick something interesting to you.

3. Write an outline

Write the skeleton of your paper before trying to write the paper itself. This is your tool to prevent writer's block and to help sort out your argument. Don't use complete sentences, but make complete thoughts. Include all of the supporting facts you need - quotes, stats, stories. Create as many points and subpoints that you need to get your thoughts out.

4. Write a first draft

Once the outline is done, you just need to write the darn thing. If you find yourself blocked, turn away from the computer, say what you think out loud, then turn back and write something down. If that still doesn't work, put a "..." in your paper and jump to the next section. Don't get blocked! Just write it.

After writing a thought, you often need to expand on it. Look at what you've written and ask questions about the key words. What do they mean? Why did you say them? Explain yourself. Use words like "because" or "for example".

5. Do your first edit

Simplify your words. We generally use more words when speaking than when writing. If you can say something simply, directly, it will have more impact. Do this before you do too much detailed editing. Many of your mistakes will disappear just by simplifying your words.

Read your words out loud. Do they make sense? Are they smooth?

Look back at your outline. Does your writing make the argument? Or does it skip around and wander off in other directions?

6. Ask someone else to edit

Every writer needs a good editor, but don't hand them junk. Edit your own writing first, then get his or her feedback. Listen to what your editor says. Eventually you should take the advice when writing the first draft of your next paper.

7. Final read

Once you've done all of this, you have a paper. Print it out. Read it on printed paper with a red pencil. You will see things there that you didn't see on the computer screen.

Check your formatting, title, name, and date.

Then post it! You are done. You are a writer.

Tectonic Creep

Every day I hustle into the office, or off to violin lessons, or over to the grocery store. In the rush of life, I take for granted the most basic building blocks of that life - there is air to breathe, my heart keeps beating, the ground is stable.

There is a veil over the inner workings of life. Sometimes the veil is pulled away on me, when sickness strikes or when a family member dies. I have to look reality in the face. But other times I can choose to pull away the veil. I can take a few minutes to read a book and consider what life is about. I can spend an evening talking with my wife or a friend about deep personal issues.

One favorite way I pull back the veil is by reading about geology. Can we even imagine that the ground underneath is slowly moving, constantly pushing, mountains lifting, the ground cracking, bending, grinding, melting, hardening...and all of that imperceptibly slow change has shaped the hills and valleys I travel each day into the office, off to violin lessons, or over to the grocery store. I enjoy the beauty of the nearby Santa Ana mountains every day, but I enjoy them just a little bit more by considering the steady creep of tectonic forces over ages of time that put them there.

So I'm starting a blog to record my thoughts during those moments. They are sweet moments, but they are just moments. Then I have to get back at the daily grind of life.

Letter to my twelve year old son

My Son,

Dating

Dating can be a scary thing, but it can be a great thing. The ultimate purpose of dating is to find a spouse. As a Christian man, you should desire to marry a woman who also loves the Lord and one who is a good companion in life. A good marriage is a great blessing from God.

But you can’t just jump into marriage. You need to take some steps. Dating is one of those steps. In fact, there are steps you can take before you even ask your first girl out on a date. Each one of these steps can be practiced right now.

Be a gentleman

A gentleman is a man with good character, both in private and in public. He knows how to act and speak around other people. He is a person of strong conviction and ability. He uses his strength to serve those around him.

He takes special care to show proper respect to ladies. He realizes that a friendship with a girl is different from a friendship with a guy. A gentleman doesn’t pal around with girls like he does with a guy. Would your father hang out with another woman who isn’t his wife? God didn’t create men and women to interact that way. Treat all women with respect.

The opposite of a gentleman is a jerk. A jerk is rude and selfish. He does what he wants without regard for anyone else. Secretly, he wants people to think he’s cool, but it backfires. Everyone knows he’s just a jerk.

Learn to talk with ladies

You need to learn how to talk with ladies by practicing. Learn how to introduce yourself, ask a girl about what she likes to do, find something in common and enjoy getting to know her. You will need to work on both speaking and listening.

Many teenage boys discover that they like girls, but because they feel embarrassed, they act out by teasing girls. You don’t need to do that. Grow up! Be a man! Most boys struggle with this, so if you can do it, you will stand out in the crowd.

Don’t restrict yourself to only talking with the girls you think are cute. A gentleman is a gentleman to all ladies. This is called impartiality, and it is what Christ was like. As a side benefit, if you practice impartiality, you stand a better chance of impressing the one that catches your fancy.

Sexual temptation

Stay away from sexual temptation, especially pornography. It is a disease that will eat into your heart. Every time you play with it, you reduce your chances that you can ever escape. If you are trapped, seek the help of a friend.

Be aware that not all women act like ladies. Watch out for teases and flirts. They play with you, but don’t care about you at all. Some may not realize the power they have over men, but some do and they work it to their advantage. In any case, your best protection is to be a leader and not a follower. Be a man! Do what you know is right. Flee from temptation.

Wait for sex

God created sex to be enjoyed in marriage. The world wants the pleasures of sex without the commitment of marriage. Our TV and movies and music are filled with this worldly lust.

There are two chief dangers for sex outside of marriage. First, sex outside of marriage is disobedient to God. There will be a day of judgment for you and me and every evil deed and thought will be exposed. Don’t fool yourself that you will escape.

Second, sex outside of marriage leads to death. If you have sex with a woman, she will get pregnant. There is no 100% effective birth control. When she becomes pregnant, you have now created life and you are responsible. The only way the world can keep having its sex outside of marriage is to have abortion – killing unwanted babies. This has always been true in all cultures. So, sex outside of marriage leads to murder. If your girlfriend becomes pregnant, she has sole legal right to abort that baby. You have no say. Yet you are still the father and the blood of your child will be on your hands.

I’ve intentionally made this section scary, because it should be. You will need to answer to God someday on your own, but I want to guide you while you are in my house. Remember that God created sex and it is good – but you need to wait for marriage. You will be much happier if you do.

When to date

There is no rush to start asking girls out on dates. You need a car and some money anyways. If you don’t have either, you won’t be very impressive. For now, you can practice being a gentleman by treating girls with respect.

Enjoy Marriage

You should desire to get married. Don’t put it off until you have the perfect job or a lot of money. After you become an adult, find a good Christian woman and marry her. Enjoy her. She will make you immensely happy. Until that day, be a gentleman, learn to talk with ladies and avoid sexual immorality.

With love,

Your Dad